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These are my rants, raves and personal observations. They are mostly simmered in satire, so don't take them seriously. Also, I recently transferred them from my old content management system into Joomla. I did not delete your comments, I just have not gotten around to transferring them. Thanks for coming!
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Written by MELMAN
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Friday, 18 June 2010 07:23 |
 Want to know the secret to staying young? Play bingo. Seriously, Google VFW or American Legion near your zip code and go now. I don't even know who you are and I can still make a pretty good bet that you will be the youngest one in the room. Visualizing being young tricks the soul into thinking you are young. Want to know the secret to staying healthy? Play bingo. You'll be surprised at how healthy you feel when you hear someone hacking for so long you just know that if a fur ball doesn't fly out a lung will. At the break, I watched 50% of the people jump up and head towards the door. I figured they had concessions out there or something but it turns out they were all going to smoke! Want the secret to staying fit? Play bingo. It takes stamina and serious upper arm strength to stamp "G53" 27 times over 50 bingo cards in 60 seconds while eating limp, greasy fries and hacking up a lung. The lady at the table next to us won the first game with one of those electronic bajillion game card things you can rent. After ranting about it being "about @#$%ing time I %$#@ing won", she actually held the little machine on the top of her head! So add poise and sense of balance to the list of bingo requirements.  There is just something about a bingo hall that does things to people. I swear to God Nancy started talking to her bingo stampers like they were little people, or Ken and Barbie or something. Yes, she needed multiple stampers to get the right color patterns on her bingo cards. WTF? Bottom line; change who you are, alter how you think, play bingo! |
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Written by MELMAN
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Saturday, 15 May 2010 10:58 |
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Kroger was celebrating something the other day with a parking lot cookout. As I walked by, I heard a customer say. "Where your prices is?" He said this three times before being corrected by someone else, "You mean, where your prices ARE." Am I the only one who knows the correct grammar for this sentence is "Where your prices be at?" |
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Written by MELMAN
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Thursday, 13 May 2010 11:31 |
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 Recently, a co-worker mentioned he was hungry. I offered him a can of Slim-Fast, to which he replied that Slim-Fast was too "girlie." Ok, no offense taken. To each his own. Didn't phase me a bit although in typing this, I noticed the same undertone of bitterness that you may have noticed. Interesting. Anyway, a conversation ensued over the need for Slim Fast to step-up it's marketing plan for men. So we came up with the following packaging changes for Slim-Fast. I'm sure the check is in the mail.
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Written by Administrator
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Monday, 10 May 2010 00:00 |
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Written by MELMAN
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Monday, 03 May 2010 12:50 |
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